We spend our days making decisions, even if we are not always aware of them. The higher the stakes of a decision, the more time we will need to make it. Doubts, hesitations, anxiety, the decision-making process can sometimes be compared to a real struggle.
So, how can we be sure to act for the best? How can we fully accept the consequences of the decisions taken?
Clearly determine what is at stake in the decision
The main factor of indecision is directly related to the issue, either what we have to lose or what we have to gain. These two points should therefore be made clear. A good exercise can be a two-column table. On one side, note the benefits of the decision and on the other, the potential losses. The advantage of this ranking is that it allows you to see, visually and quickly, the relevance of the decision. To go further, you can add a rating scale for each of these elements according to your inner compass. For example, you can decide on a scale from 1 to 5, with 1 being the least important to you and 5 being the most valuable to you. It’s not so much the number of pros and cons that weigh in the final choice but rather the meaning you put behind each factor noted.
Taking a step back
The general rule is never to make decisions under stress, fear, anxiety or anger. This is the best way to create a distance between what the heart really wants – which is in our best interest – and what the mind dictates under the influence of a negative emotion. Ask yourself the question you want to solve before you go to bed, take a deep breath and get a good night’s sleep. Sleep is the best meditation, the answer will come on its own the next day. If you were unable to fall asleep because you were tormented by the question… you may still be hot the next day. Really wait until you have a “good” night.
Practicing waking intuitive listening
Also called the “voice of the heart”, intuition allows you to make quick decisions by calling upon your inner guide. When you are preoccupied with an issue, your reminding brain, which operates 24 hours a day, will automatically focus on the issue in question and look for a solution based on your past experience and also on your value system. It will then propose a number of alternatives that your mind and intuition will take over. Your intellect functions quantitatively while your “heart” will tend to consider the qualitative aspect. On the one hand, you increase the number of possibilities because they all fit together and on the other hand, there is a potentiality more in line with your deepest desires.
Practicing the “So what” method?
Developed by the author Marie Haddou in her book Avoir confiance en soi (Self-confidence), the principle is to take a step back from the decision and to put the stakes into perspective. This process of distancing allows us to play down the situation and to allow ourselves to move forward. The validation of the decision remains faithful to the individual’s value system, therefore the option chosen is the best one at the time it is chosen.